Where I have arrived to while #stayinghome.

• Wearing a purse feels like a strange phenomenon of our society that has absolutely no bearing on reality.
• Watching people gather in groups on *insert whatever TV series I’m bingeing* make me feel MOST worried for them.
• I measure my gas mileage in terms of how many weeks per tank. I’m almost at four!
• The once a week grocery run is actually kind of *exciting*.
• My slacky home clothes are legitimately in shock with how much I’m using them, and are kindly responding by falling apart. I look *hot*.
• The concept of doing my hair can fuck right off for the rest of eternity.
• I nap everyday while my kid naps and I legitimately have no idea how I will function without said nap once the world goes back to normal. I’m gonna be SO screwed.
• The lack of friends I have that I actually hang out with has yet to make this feel all that different, lol.
• These words: “we can’t, it’s closed” have magically transformed my kid into: 1) being able to calmly stay at home ALL day while not really “going” anywhere and 2) into being a CHAMPION of long walks (as opposed to playgrounds)… When before he would have lost his *shit* on me about both.

These are *fascinating* times.