The beautiful beginnings of a forever relationship.

There is a sweetness to watching D and O together that hits me at my very core.

After D went back to work and was gone for his almost 12 hour days, I was worried his son wouldn’t come to know him very well at first. How could he for the hour or two he is only sees his dad for every night before going to sleep for the evening? Sure, we have the weekends, but with naps and everything else it feels like those fly by in the blink of an eye.

I was delightfully wrong, however. Whenever D gets home for the evening and O hears his voice, he stops what he’s doing and his eyes go wide. When D comes to say hello to him, he smiles and during their nightly back play session he coos and grins at his dad like crazy. When held by his dad, he puts his head in his favourite cushy spot, arms down as if to hug him and they both look so dang serene sometimes.

They’re still working on getting used to each other, obviously, and nothing’s perfect (this child is a total boob monster and D is still adjusting to the realities being a dad [especially to a newborn] after not thinking he would be for so very long). But, the beautiful beginnings of a forever relationship have begun and it is the most wonderful thing. šŸ’šā£ ā£

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You have absoluely no regrets.

O is now a little over a month old, and the realizations keep on comin’!

  • You spend an obscenely large amount of time watching Netflix and browsing your phone as your child goes to town at your all you can eat boob cafe. (Almost done with Making a Murderer, however!)
  • Breastfeeding, however, kinda makes your boobs feel like superheroes.
  • Bringing a newborn into a public space is quite possibly the quickest way to bring upon yourself a million+ awkward and way too personal conversations with complete strangers.
  • There comes a point your child will demand to be stuck to you like glue, and babywearing is your only option at a semblance of life… A life that guiltily looks around to see if anyone is watching before you wipe crumbs off the top of your child’s head from the meal you just ate. >.>
  • You have never known how it feels to be needed and depended upon this much in your entire life. It is both beautiful and terrifying… as you are pretty sure you can’t even remember when you showered last, let alone raised a tiny human!
  • There are few things funnier than when your hungry newborn smells breastmilk on your chin (don’t ask me how the ‘eff it got there) and tries desperately to feed from it. How have we as a species survived again?
  • It takes a huge friggin’ amount of will to not appease your OCD and go clean the mess that is your house during the rare moments your newborn lets you put him down while he sleeps. Must resist. MUST RESIST.

But, despite your desperate and unending need to sleep (so much so that you legit dream about sleeping WHILE sleeping), you have absolutely no regrets.

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Hurt in the most beautiful way.

O is now a week old, and with it, here is what I’ve so far realized:

  • You now find yourself Googling the most random questions about baby care at 3:30AM and it has somehow become a perfectly acceptable time to do so.
  • Watching your child randomly burst out into a smile while deep in sleep is the cutest freaking thing ever.
  • Watching your child get woken with a start because his dad snorted like a freakin’ chainsaw in his sleep (which also woke dad up) is the greatest thing ever.
  • Post birth hormones and emotions, and their ability to make you weep about anything and everything, could very well make you the greatest star of any Hallmark movie made.
  • Breastfeeding is the thirstiest friggin’ work EVER, no pun intended! I think I drank a gallon of water yesterday and still needed more.
  • Sleep is now for the weak. ‘nough said.

Above all else, the amount of love and adoration and happiness and joy you feel for your little one literally makes your heart hurt. Hurt in the most beautiful way.

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